Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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derp

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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