What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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