A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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