cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Lil Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops