A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Knock knock knock OCD

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops