Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Happy Monday!

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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