Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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BIG PENIS

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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