You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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