What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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Obama lin Baden.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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