Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

Obama lin Baden.

What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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