What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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