Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What hurts like hell? HELL

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops