How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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