"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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