Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops