Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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What is life? Paul.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops