How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

Daniel is a fag

Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

I'm so full I could stop eating.

why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

What do you get when you cross a man with a horse? The Nobel Prize for your advancement of genetic sciences; centaurs aren’t real.

What is your name? My name is Jeff

why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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