I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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deez nuts

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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