Face...the other white meat!

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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have safe sex

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Fox News

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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