PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom went to college

thumb_up thumb_down +6

CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops