Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

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What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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