Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

Dane Cook makes a joke.

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

Gretta has five legs? -no

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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