When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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What comes after 23? 24.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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