Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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You idiot.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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What's worse than this That :(

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops