Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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25

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awkies when u see danni white fingering jacob :0;0;0;0, and jamie fingering himself..............

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A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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