What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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your mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops