a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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One time i was sitting down

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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