What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Man U

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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