A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops