What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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