all these jokes are horrible now

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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No it doesnt..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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