A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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