A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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