Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Get up Look in the mirror

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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