Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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knock knock come in !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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