There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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The GOV and the WHO?

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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Womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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