Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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one morning i turned on my tv

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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i committed murder

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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hi jonny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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