What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops