what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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i like it in the mouth

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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