A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock... Home invasion

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

thumb_up thumb_down -29

An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Indians

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops