what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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