Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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Click here for free sandwich.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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