what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm Helen Keller Everything's black

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops