Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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why did the white guy go to a black mans yard sale? to get his stuff back

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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I hate Jews The Holocaust

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Cheese

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops