Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

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Womens rights

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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someone called someone else a frog

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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