There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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what do you do when you see a injured black man screaming in pain rolling on the ground assist him or call 911 depending how severe the injury is

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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