What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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