What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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bangers and mash?

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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I don't get it

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops