why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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