What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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YOU

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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anti jokes are really funny

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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