How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...