A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

thumb_up thumb_down +21

( . Y . )

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops