Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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