So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops